The Practice:
Dee & Bea’s Quick & Easy Guide to Enlightenment introduces Dee, an intellectual with a disreputable past and a passion for food and sex, and Bea, the former star of antacid and hemorrhoid commercials who dislikes most everything except Dee. The two decide to become self-proclaimed best-selling spiritual experts after Dee has a dream that they are. The tale of their journey to enlightenment takes place over meals, and each chapter ends with a spiritual practice — written not only to entertain, but to offer a deeper, truer, and certainly a funnier kind of wisdom than the plethora of “how-to-be-spiritual” books.
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Check out the Table of Contents
Introduction: How It Happens
Dee and Bea, two middle-aged, sharp-witted women with experience in failed marriages, unemployment, near destitution, support groups, addiction, and the world of metaphysics and spirituality, decide to use these credentials to embark on a new, hopefully lucrative, career as expert guides to enlightenment by writing this book.
Chapter 1 Teachings from the Animal World
For their first book-planning session, ambitious foodie Dee prepares a gourmet picnic for food-restricted Bea, and two ravens show up as unexpected guests. Also present are a holographic spirit (Dee’s weekend-workshop teacher of shamanism), and two half-naked Frisbee players. Through Dee’s telepathic communication with the birds and Bea’s post-traumatic reaction to same, they learn the value of welcoming whatever company shows up on their journey to enlightenment.
The Practice: How to Host the Perfect Picnic
Chapter 2 Messages from Beyond
While dining at Madame Blavatsky’s Room, a darkish but cozy, single-room restaurant tucked above Ralph’s Occult Bookstore, Dee and Bea experience channeled messages from Dee’s Uncle Heiny, as well as the Anthroposophist and famous skin-care creator Dr. Rudolf Hauschka. The mystery of who recently stole various items from Dee’s home is solved as they receive a message about the importance of turning on lights if you aspire to enlightenment.
The Practice: How to Obtain and Use Messages from Dead People
Chapter 3 The Secret of Inner Vision
Attempting to open themselves to the flow of cosmic guidance, Dee and Bea are stopped on the street by a chauffeured, cream-colored, stretch limo. Louie Tinkler, Dee’s old friend from their soup kitchen days, invites the women for a drive. They dine on gourmet food, sip champagne (carrot frappe for Bea), and learn how Louie won the lottery as he shares his secret of “da inward vision.”
The Practice: How to Make Something Out of Nothing
Chapter 4 The Mystery of Sacrifice
While bringing a food-restricted yet delicious feast to her friend’s apartment, Dee sees Bea’s cherished hat (previously discarded due to a soiling mishap at the raven picnic) hanging from a tree. When a mysterious dog-faced man insists the hat is his, Dee is forced to make a forfeiture: the food. Meanwhile, a similarly doggish man appears at Bea’s apartment with Melvin the bird, demanding a ransom for his release. Dee and Bea discover some dark secrets about one another and learn to loosen up.
The Practice: How to Let Go
Chapter 5 Facing Fear
Lunching at a pricey downtown eatery, Dee relates that her landlord, Max Shafransky, has a crush on Bea. While confessing her own infatuation with Louie Tinkler, Dee bursts into tears, faints into her salad, and has a healing vision about men from her past. Bea wonders if she can borrow Dee’s lacy bra for the upcoming date with Max.
The Practice: How to Discover What You’re Really Afraid Of
Chapter 11 The Art of Timing
Alone after Bea has left for her new job for the Birchwoods representing their organic produce, Dee is helping her boyfriend, Louie Tinkler, plan his new philanthropic foundation. All around her are excited people, and she is depressed . . . until she has a video call with Bea. She realizes it is the wrong time for her to be doing the work Louie wants to do, and instead she will join Bea on the road.
The Practice: How to Get Your Timing Right
Chapter 6 Letting Loose
Dee and Bea’s indulgence in an afternoon of all-natural beauty treatments prior to their planned evening out with Louie and Max leads to the soiling of vintage dresses, the absconding of a bean-flax seed treatment, and the releasing of bodily noises that forces the two women into the bathroom to face themselves in the mirror and let it all go.
The Practice How to Release Your Secret Fear
Chapter 8 Dark Dining
During an adventure in dark dining (eating without being able to see your food, or anything), Bea and Dee meet Benny and Betty Birchwood. Bea has a blast, and Dee has a complete melt-down.
The Practices: How to Know Who to Trust
Chapter 9 The Alien Factor
After a month’s estrangement, Dee and Bea have a reunion at Area 51, a UFO-inspired restaurant. Both women take responsibility for the behaviors that caused their falling out. Dee reveals her epiphany while living in a French nunnery, and Bea discovers the power of so-called scary alien energy.
The Practice: How to Have a Snake Party and See an Alien as Your Friend
Chapter 10 Fear of Freedom
Bea takes Dee to visit her new boss, Benny Birchwood, who turns out to be an unlikely teacher. In his and Betty Birchwood’s company, the women experience how frightening true freedom can be.
The Practice: How to Accept Your Fear of Freedom
Chapter 12 Reunion
Dee throws herself a combined birthday/bon voyage party at Louie’s mansion. Full of surprises as well as the reappearance of every person previously introduced in the book, this chapter explodes with the joy of great food, good friends, and the excitement of exploring the unknown.
The Practice: How to Love Your Life
Chapter 7 Tower of Song
The morning after Dee and Bea’s double date with Louie and Max, the ladies meet at Maya’s Diner where the book began. There they meet Bea’s nemesis Meryl Streep and their favorite singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen, and discover the power of a mantra.
The Practice: How to Find Your Mantra and Make Peace with Whatever Is
